Couldn't Be Happier

Really? That’s the best you could do? Michigan, I understand your thinking at this point, but really. That’s all you could come up with at this point? I can here the conversation right now…

Michigan athletic director Bill Martin: Well, now that we didn’t have to fire Lloyd, we’ve got to figure out a way to beat that darn team from down south. Apparently Les doesn’t was too stupid to figure out his alma mater wanted him as the head coach.
Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman: Well, Ohio State has only lost twice in the last two years.
Martin: Yeah, Florida and Illinois. Hey, wait a sec. Didn’t both those teams run a spread offense?
Coleman: What’s a spread offense?
Martin: Don’t worry about it. But that must be the key. The spread offense. Who runs it the best. That guy down at WVU. Rich. Yeah, those guys run the spread offense real good. Let’s hire him!

You KNOW that’s what they were thinking (or not thinking). What did Ohio State do when it was looking for a replacement for Cooper. Glen Mason was qualified, but they had to find a guy that won some big games (what Cooper didn’t do). So they got a guy that won championships.

The last time I checked, it wasn’t offense that ailed Michigan. In fact, they were pretty good the last couple years with the likes of Henne and Hart (except against Ohio State, HAHAHAHA!). As I remember, Michigan had to big problems: defensive meltdowns and a failure to win big games (0-4 against the Buckeyes and 0-4 in its last four bowls). What’s two things that Rich Rodriguez has never produced as a major college football coach (NAIA does not apply, eh hem, Glenville State)? A quality defense and a wins in big games.

Let’s look at this objectively. As I’ve always said, the numbers never lie. Sure, WVU has put up some quality records in the last three years: 10-2, 11-2, 11-1. Yeah, that’s not bad. How ’bout them Buckeyes over the last three years: 11-1, 12-1, 10-2 (with two national championship game appearances). That’s not bad either. But let’s dig a little deeper. This is an easy thing to compare because our new punching bag Rich Rodriguez and the Vest became head coach of their respective schools in the same season of 2001. I never judge a coach by his first season, so let’s throw out 2001 (7-5 for the Vest, 3-8 for Red and Green Wrist Bands).

Since 2002, Ohio State is 66-10 overall with four bowl victories. WVU, on the other hand, is 57-16 with two bowl victories.

Wow, 57 wins is pretty good. But let’s go a little deeper still. Against the major rival, Ohio State is 5-1 while WVU is 3-2 against Pitt (and we all know Pitt isn’t exactly Michigan). Against ranked teams the Bucks are 21-5. WVU is 9-10. But even knowing that, this stat is the killer. Everyone has busted on the Buckeyes for picking up some piece-of-cake non-conference wins the the last couple of years, but examine the ‘Eers schedule, and you’ll find very much of the same (a win over East Carolina each year). And for all ya’ll who claim the Big East is a powerhouse conference, here’s something for your to chew on. In the last six years, WVU is 7-10 against non-conference BCS member schools. Ohio State, on the other hand, is 21-5 with three losses coming against a pair of No. 2-ranked teams (Texas and Florida, both of whom went on to win the national championship) and a No. 4-ranked team in Michigan. How freakin’ great is that stat!

That just goes to show how pitifully sad the Big East has been and how incredibly inflated West Virginia’s win totals have been during Rodriguez’s tenure.

OK, so maybe we’ll give Rich a few years to build up the Maize & Black and Blue. You know as well as I do that Michigan recruits lead footed quarterbacks exclusively and there isn’t an athlete on the roster like Pat White to run the offense. Much like at WVU, it will take him some time to recruit HIS type of player and coach up system. In his first four years at WVU, Rich won 27 games and dropped 21, losing three bowl games. Winning eight games a year ain’t cuttin’ it. And with his futility against rivals and in big games, a couple more losses in a row to the Buckeyes and the booster club will have his spread option on the first bus back to the Mountain State.

So, is Rich going to win at Michigan? Almost any one can win at Michigan. The question is how much can you win at Michigan? Like I said, eight wins isn’t ground breaking like it was at WVU. Not even 10 wins is ground breaking. It’s gotta be Big 10 titles, and beating the Buckeyes or bust. Let’s not forget that Michigan has never appeared in the BCS title game.

My gut tells me that Rich is in WAY over his head. Even back in his small college days of Salem and Glenville, he posted a record of 45-36-2. I know a guy by the name of Bob Eaton that had a record like that at West Liberty…and he got fired…from WEST LIBERTY.

Regardless, it’s going to take Rich a while to get things going. I heard that Terrelle Pryor was all of sudden thinking about heading up North. You go ahead and do that, son. Go ahead and run that spread option that won nothing of significance at West Virginia, got Pat White nothing but hurt and ruined his NFL potential. You go ahead and play for that Maize and Blue and end up like another top-rated QB in Chad Henne: 0-4 against the Buckeyes. You go ahead and play for the Wolverines and the Buckeyes will find someone, anyone, and get to another national championship game while you are sunning yourself in Orlando at the Capital One Bowl for four years in a row. Have a good time.

In summation, I say, Thanks, Michigan. And somewhere in Columbus, as he prepares for the BCS Championship, Jim Tressel is smiling.